I've been slacking!

Hey Ladies,

Sorry I haven't kept the posts up to date this past week. I am really trying to get caught up. Honestly, it may be more difficult than usual these next several weeks with Destiny off track. I may just post the titles, so as to provide a place for you to chime in if it's on your heart to do so.

Thank you,
Coreen

Day #28

Coming soon... "the only prerequisite was her pain."

Day #27

When we met on Monday March 15th, we sang, "I long to bring you a pleasing offering," and I clearly heard from the Lord, "I am pleased." Beth asked how often we thing God is pleased with us. I think it is MUCH MORE often than we would ever imagine! He is so full of grace. Though He is perfection, He doesn't expect it from us. We have it in Jesus and when He looks at us, guess what He sees?

• Holiness and blamelessness (Eph. 1:4)
• Righteousness (Rom. 3:22)
• His beloved child (Eph. 1:5, 1 John 1:12-13)

I could go on and on here. Just be reminded today that Your God delights in you! And, God sees clearly... and what he sees when He looks at you is GOOD. Yes, God derives pleasure FROM YOU, and me... even with all our hang ups.

Day #26

I am curious as to what you all put for her question about what do we risk by being overly cautions and careful in our acceptance of Christian teaching and how do we draw lines there???
My thought- much better to be openhearted, receptive and sometimes wrong than to be skeptical, critical and miss out on cool experiences with God. I guess I haven't really been hurt a lot by finding out I accepted a false teaching. What about you? If there is a spectrum, I error on the side of 'too open' that 'too closed.'

Day #25

I did this day in a hurry and therefore have little to say. The issue of forgiveness is another one God seems to be highlighting for me this past week. One thought I had, as a result of Beth's question about whether or not we have trouble receiving forgiveness is that I notice I tend to try and 'make up' for the things I've done wrong. Anyone else? Well guess what? I'm seeing that, for me, at the root of that behavior is either an unwillingness to accept forgiveness (I am trying to earn it) or an unbelief that it is possible. Hum...

Day #24

So, I mentioned in a previous day that the Lord has highlighted to me that I have problems with 'asking.' Interesting that this topic would be the focus of day #24, so soon after the Lord brought it to my attention. Asking for other people, no problem. Asking for some things like, for God to show up at homegroup, or for Him to heal Destiny when she is crying out in pain the the middle of the night with an ear infection, or even for him to help me when I'm stressed... I have no problems asking for those things. Asking for something that I feel I simply can not live without... feeling utterly needy (again)... feeling as if I will die if He doesn't intervene on my behalf... that thought terrifies me. You see, I have been there. And, I totally felt like I was dieing when I had to say goodbye to my little boy. I have asked in the past, been more desperate than I can put into words, begged, prostrated myself MANY MANY times over a certain thing... and have not received what I asked for. Does this mean God is not faithful? Does this mean that I should not ask again? Did God mess up? Did I?
Here is what I am coming to understand... not just in my mind, but in my heart. I did not ask like the man in this parable. I don't know that I could have helped it, but the reality was that I felt I needed a certain answer from God, more than I needed God himself. I had no problem believing that God could answer my prayers, but there defiantly came a point in my painful trials that I was more desirous to be done with the hardship (and have the outcome I felt I needed) than I was of God's eternal purposes. And, so were most of the people in my life. I don't even feel condemnation about that... it is just where I was for many years. What I wanted was (and is) not bad, but apparently, it just wasn't what God wanted for us.
So now, with some miles between me and the culmination of Daryn and I's conflict over having children, God is taking me through a season of healing. He has challenged this part of my heart that has vowed never to get so desperate again, never to feel like I need something that bad again, that part of my heart that has just given up hope and filed that whole desire in a compartment marked, "DANGER... DO NOT LET OUT!" It's filed in this dark, dead part of my heart, voluntarily locked away with a resolution that "I don't get this, I can't figure this one out. How can God and Daryn love me... yet have put me through what they did? Yet, I have to live. I have to stay married to this man. I can't do life without God. So, I've just got to set this aside and move forward." What else could I do to cope? Only, neither God nor I am content leave my heart this way. I am ready now to face this thing and piece by piece process it with the Lord. I want to be made whole again. I want to love God with ALL of my heart, mind and strength. I want to love my husband with ALL of my heart again too. I am ready for the lies I am believing about all of this to be dispelled. I am ready to hear the truth from Jesus. Not only am I ready, I am desperate for this... but guess what. I have to ask. This time, I am asking like the man in this story. Well, I guess there is one difference between me and this man... he didn't know if Jesus wanted to heal him or not... I am sure Jesus wants to heal me. I ask myself, why am I so sure? Because I know that is what He came to do (Ish. 61)!!!

Day #23

Favorite quote of the day, "The one who knows the number of hairs on your head could also style them if he wanted." Made me wonder how God would style my hair... going to get a trim tomorrow...

I have found it to be true that "the same job submitted to Christ's authority can yield entirely different results."

As I read this day's devotion, I kept thinking of a friend of mine who is in a crappy work situation. I am giving her a copy of this hoping it might be an encouragement to her until Jesus opens the door for a different job.

Day #22

Beth's emphasis for this day resonated with me! There are so many wonderful causes out there, so much we are instructed to do in the Bible. We simply don't have the capacity to make every issue, problem and topic our #1 priority... and, I don't think that is God's expectation for us either.
I am interested in knowing what you all put for the first two questions:
1.) What worthy activities or pursuits often lure you away for your main priorities?

• I thought of household chores, projects, daily problems (like a broken toilet) and I think some of my relationships...

2.) What answer could you give to those who think you're being lazy or indifferent by not sharing the same zeal they posses for some cause or ministry or emphasis?

• Oh my, this is a toughy. First off, I think that I need to admit that I have been tempted to be judgmental like this at times. Lord, please give me grace that I don't have that rising up in my heart over any topic, ministry or emphasis you've put on my heart. Next, I can't say that I've had too many open conversations like this. I think more often, we just sense or suspect that someone might feel is way about us over our lack of response or 'joining in' a cause. Yet, if I ever had the chance to have an open conversation where someone was questioning a lack of passion in me for a ministry or something of this nature, I wonder if this might be appropriate, "I applaud you and affirm you in this! I know that it is something that is on God's heart, and is something that should be important to Christians. I do care. I am also doing my best to be faithful to the priorities I feel God has for my heart and time, in this season, and for some reason, this just isn't one of them right now." (Here is a part I probably wouldn't add, but would feel like it if I sensed judgment... "Maybe that is why it's on your list!?")

How about you? Anyone willing to share answers?

A thought occurred to me as I was meditating on this scripture. If I were there that day, among the many people who were trying to get Jesus' attention, needing healing? Would Jesus have taken the time for me? I felt uncomfortable even thinking about it. Because, what if he wouldn't have time for me? Secretly, that is what I would suspect... but then it occurred to me... I know myself... I would never have taken the risk to ask. I would have stood back and watched from afar. I would have delighted in other people's healing and enjoyed and believed God from the outskirts. I would have really, really wished that Jesus would have called me out, knowing my problem and just volunteered to heal me... but to try, to push forward, to ask... not unless I was sure, sure, sure... the risk of rejection feels too scary for me. It felt the Holy Spirit pointed that out and I've been pondering it since. This was the instigation of a major realization that I have problems with 'asking.'

Day #21

I'm a morning person. How about you? There is something so special, for me, on those days when I rise before anyone else in the house for the express purpose of stealing away to be with Jesus. Sweet times! This is one of those instances in which following Jesus' example is a pure delight to me. I also relate with how he was soon interrupted by his disciples, excited shouting, "Everyone is looking for you!"

Day #20

Favorite Quote from today: "Christ could have healed Simon's mother-in-law from the front porch. He didn't. He came to her and drew down close."

The focus of this devotion seemed to be about sensing Christ's activity in our homes... in our daily routines and life. In most days, most weeks, I sense the Lord's presence with me personally, but I long for this to be more overt in my marriage and parenting.

Day #19

Jesus can show us how to live out and walk in the authority God has given us... and I am looking to him to teach me to do just that.

Remember pastor Mike's sermon on noise and distraction? This devotion emphasized how one of the enemies tactics is to divert our attention to that which is not really important.

Day #18

This story was a challenge to me. It was one of those times when I saw clearly the difference between 'how Coreen is' and 'how Jesus is.' It wasn't Jesus' goal to have the approval of those around Him. Ahh, I've got to admit... that is my goal a lot of the time. People were speaking well of Him... they were amazed, struck with admiration. He could have been happy and satisfied with that. Let's get real here, isn't that the gage many of us use for success? For whatever reason, rather than basking in his rising popularity, he chose to challenge and speak convicting words. Obviously, he wasn't looking to please people, but God.
It got me thinking about two different situations that had occured the day prior to when I did this devotion. In both situations, I was aware that my actions, though totally innocent and necessary, were probably going to result in people feeling uncared for or frustrated. Both situations where similar in that it was one of those times that I just needed to say no, or refuse to go the extra mile, though it was expected of me. Did I let it be??? No, the though of people feeling negative as a result of my action, or actually, inaction bothered me so much that I tried to step in a do something about it. Both times, my actions attempting to make these people feel better ended up leaving both me and them MORE upset and frustrated than if I had just let it be. What Jesus was trying to teach me... I am not responsible for other peoples feelings and when I try to be, I make it worse for all parties involved. I need to learn to be okay with people's disapproval. How does this crazy story relate to the devotion from Luke 4? It helped me to see that just because someone becomes upset with me, doesn't automatically mean that my actions were wrong... Jesus upset people too.

Day #17

I am passionate about Jesus' purpose! Very few things endure my heart to God more than Isaiah 61 ministry! It touches me so deeply to know that God sent Jesus to:

• Preach good news to the poor (those that really FEEL their need)
• Heal the broken hearted
• Give recovery of sight for the blind
• Release the oppressed
  
• Proclaim the Lord's favor

Why? I've been poor and I have definitely been broken hearted! I've been blind and oppressed. In those moments, I felt my need for God more than any other... I was desperate for Him! In fact, I still am. There is just nothing like the love and power than can come and meet those deep needs! And, when I watch God bring his good news, healing, comfort, enlightenment and freedom to those I love... I just can't help but fall in love with God all over again.

Day #16

Anyone have come up with something for the question about why God would lead His son into the desert immediately following His baptism? I couldn't.

A lot of the 'sins' that I am aware I struggle with have a root in looking to THINGS other than God to satisfy me. I get this unrest... this discontentment... this vacuum feeling inside of me from time to time. All these ideas come to me about what will make me feel better. I think, 'Ug, my house is cluttered and unattractive, I need to get it in order...' and thus begins a new obsession- the foremost thing I am thinking about. I might go on this bent where I drive Daryn crazy talking about what we can do with our house, wanting to spend $ on stuff and neglect my time with God because suddenly getting that cupboard cleaned out seems more urgent that spending time with Jesus. So, house cleaning and organization are good things, right? But, is it really a good thing when my motive for pursuing such activity is this inner-unrest that really has nothing to do with my house. Here is the more common pattern... I have a stressful afternoon, I am carrying a burden in the pit of my belly wondering how I am going to get it all done, and I go for a piece of chocolate to make me feel better. Sure, that is not my conscience thinking, but really... that is what I am hoping for when I unwrap that piece of decedent yummyness.
The afternoon following this devotion was one of those days. I recognized that feeling... that feeling that drives me to look for RELIEF, that tempting feeling... and I let that stop me in my tracks. I talked to God, "here it is... that feeling again. Please help me. Give me some truth, some direction." The scripture came to my mind, "In your presence is fullness of joy and at your righthand are pleasures forevermore," and then the song, "Your Enough." I prayed that scripture back the Lord and let that be the song of my heart. It gave me strength in the face of my temptation and I am happy to say that I felt it was a victorious afternoon. I did take a nap...but I think that was okay. I hope recognizing this pattern for sin in my life might help me in the future too. If I can start to be more in-tune and let the Holy Spirit to prompt me to stop and turn to the Lord when I just start to feel that 'vacuum' feeling.

Day #15

When Beth asked why isn't heaven always open to our sight, it prompted me to think this, "Faith is how we love God." What I mean is, if we saw with our eyes who God really is, we would automatically fall down and worship him, taking the 'choice' out of it. He didn't create robots or angels for the purpose of having a love relationship... he created us and set it up in such a way that it could actually be real love... which involves more than an automatic response. I hope I'm getting the thought across here.
But, what really struck me this day was the whole idea of the FATHER'S BLESSING. I just was able to see so clearly how, in my own life, my biggest issues can be traced back to this issue. At first, I thought, "I got my father's blessing! I always knew he loved me. He adores me..." yet I thought a little more, and it dawned on my (thank you Holy Spirit) that actually, I remember getting his 'blessing' (words of affirmation, especially public words, like when he would brag to his friends or something) when I had done something really well, like Got all As on a report card or starred in a play or something. I remember getting his blessing over random things that I had very little control over, like a haircut I got one time. I craved it, and always strove to present one more achievement or new thing for him to latch onto. Result (and I am TOTALLY NOT BLAMING THIS ON MY DAD), I struggle with perfectionism and a performance-based thinking with God. Yeah, I realized, that my earthly father's blessing wasn't given to me simply for who I was... I felt it was only for what I did. What a different kind of blessing God the Father bestowed upon his son, "This IS MY SON, in whom I am well pleased." Those words sound so much more like, "You are MY son. I am pleased with you. I approve of who you are," than, "way to go, good job." What are your 'issues'? Did you get a blessing from your earthly father? Do you see a connection? Do you feel that you have your heavenly father's blessing?

Day #14

Acts 3:19 "Repent and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord." One of the things the Lord has been teaching as he takes me through a process of healing from some majorly painful things that I went through in the last 5 years, is that I have such a part in why those things were so painful for me. When yucky stuff happens to us, we are extra vulnerable to responding in sinful ways, and unfortunately for us, that sin causes already painful things to be even more painful. I am seeing that most of the healing God does in my heart is when I allow him to show me what my part in it is, take responsibility (admit that I was wrong) and ask for forgiveness. Wow, it is amazing the relief I have experience... TIMES OF REFRESHING.

Day #13

Acts 3:19 "Repent and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord." One of the things the Lord has been teaching me, as He has been taking me through a process of healing, is that I have such a part in the emotional pain I have suffered. When yucky stuff happens to us, we are extra vulnerable to responding in sinful ways, and unfortunately for us, that sin causes already painful things to be even more painful. I am seeing that most of the healing God does in my heart is when I allow him to show me my part in it (the part I have control over), take responsibility (admit that I was wrong) and ask for forgiveness. Wow, it is amazing the relief I have experience... TIMES OF REFRESHING.

Day #12

This was a light-hearted day for me. It was so interesting to me to learn that the definition of 'favor' implied that the relationship between God the Father and Jesus the son became, "an increasing delight to both of them." I know there is nothing I can do to make God love me more, but more than anything, I want to grow in favor with God like this. I want He and I to enjoy our relationship more and more every day!!! Since this day, that has become a prayer for me.
When asked what qualities I like most in people, I said "loving, encouraging, gentle, fun, wise, godly, sensitive, thoughtful, open." I'm sure that along with whatever was on your list, JESUS IS ALL THAT. Sounds like the makings for a fun song!
Favorite quote from this day, "Christ came to show us that deeply spiritual is very practical."
Lastly, I've been asking God to give me scripture/direction on how to pray over my daughter Destiny. Well, I was touched by how "The child grow and became strong. he will filled with wisdom and the grace of God was upon him." This has become a prayer that I have prayed often for Destiny. God, just as with your son Jesus, I ask for YOUR daughter Destiny, that you would please grow her strong, fill her with wisdom and that you would place your grace on her.

Day #11

My prayer for this day, "So often those 'other lights' are in and of themselves good things; food, relationships, achievements, for me... family. It is the place that the pursuit of those things occupies in our hearts that takes them from being a good thing to something not so good for us. I confess that babies have been that for me in the past, that which I thought would make me happy. May I get that you are THE ONE AND ONLY thing that can truly satisfy."

Day #10

Warning- very long post in progress. This day touched on something BIG for me. I am working on writing it up, but it is taking a long time. Meanwhile, if you have something to share about this day, I wanted to provide the space for that. Check back soon to read about how God used this day to bring some serious comfort to an area of my heart that I didn't even realize was still very much broken until just recently.

3/6- still in progress...

Day #9

So, the law required a sacrifice from parents of a firstborn male... a lamb, but if you didn't have the resources to aford a lamb, you could bring two young doves or two you pigeons. Jesus' own parents offered the 'lesser' of the two, but to God it was still just as good. This spoke to me... God is pleased with what we can give, even if someone else can give more. In other words, God is pleased with what we can give, not only the best anyone can give. Sometimes I need to just chill. It doesn't always have to be over the top... it doesn't always have to be the BEST. Sometimes, it can be average or even below average... it is not the THING [the dinner, the party, the gift, the skit, the _______________ (you fill in the blank)] that matters as much as the heart of the one that gives it. When I am driven, mostly with questionable motivations, I need to remember this.

Day #8

I used my imagination to ponder what it must have been like for Mary to have experienced all that we read about in Luke 1 & 2. She was so young, it was such scandalous thing to be pregnant before she was married. She probably felt very alone, and the even the pregnancy... all those hormones, enduring a birth in a stable, with only a man, who she didn't really know that well... that is a lot to handle. It occurred to me that God must have been so sweet to meet her emotional needs through this experience. Somehow, she didn't freak out. Um, I think I might have... unless God was supper near. I'm thinking that v. 19 shows us a key. Mary's thoughts were centered on herself, on her problems... they were centered on God and his works. Seems that Mary might have learned the principal taught to us in Phil. 4:8-9 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Two keys to peace, having our thoughts on the right stuff and obedience. Lacking peace? Could one of those two areas be the reason?

Day #7

It really struck me that:

• Jesus is the GOOD NEWS of GREAT JOY for ALL PEOPLE!!!
• Out of all the people God could have sent his angels to bring the amazing announcement of his son's birth... he chose shepherds. Common, ordinary, and I think you could even say that they were considered unimportant, lowly, shepherds. Ever feel common, overlooked, unimportant in man's eyes? Boy, does God have a totally different value system than the world! Not only did God let them in on his secret, He revealed his awe-inspiring glory. What a sight that must have been. Out of all the characters in this passage, I relate with the Shepherds. Why, out of all the people on this earth, do I get to be one of the lucky ones to whom God has shown himself? Just as God placed such value and worth on the shepherds by bringing this longed for news to THEM, I feel special too.
• He came to the shepherds at night. Yes, that is when we need good news the most. Yes, that is when his glory shines the brightest... in the dark night of our souls.
  

Oh Jesus, you are still that good news of great joy for all people. Today, I am surrounded by so many living in darkness, my neighbors, ladies at the gym, even believers who don't quite get that you are GREAT JOY (actually Lord, I am still learning that myself). Your word also comments (Ish. 52:7 and repeated in Rom. 10:15) on how beautiful are the feet of those that bring GOOD NEWS. You are increasing that desire in me to share that good news. Will you give me opportunity? Will you make my feet beautiful? I love you Lord. You are so beautiful to me. I love how you do things! Everything you do is so full of purpose. you make me smile, you make me marvel.