I am interested in knowing what you all put for the first two questions:
1.) What worthy activities or pursuits often lure you away for your main priorities?
- I thought of household chores, projects, daily problems (like a broken toilet) and I think some of my relationships...
- Oh my, this is a toughy. First off, I think that I need to admit that I have been tempted to be judgmental like this at times. Lord, please give me grace that I don't have that rising up in my heart over any topic, ministry or emphasis you've put on my heart. Next, I can't say that I've had too many open conversations like this. I think more often, we just sense or suspect that someone might feel is way about us over our lack of response or 'joining in' a cause. Yet, if I ever had the chance to have an open conversation where someone was questioning a lack of passion in me for a ministry or something of this nature, I wonder if this might be appropriate, "I applaud you and affirm you in this! I know that it is something that is on God's heart, and is something that should be important to Christians. I do care. I am also doing my best to be faithful to the priorities I feel God has for my heart and time, in this season, and for some reason, this just isn't one of them right now." (Here is a part I probably wouldn't add, but would feel like it if I sensed judgment... "Maybe that is why it's on your list!?")
A thought occurred to me as I was meditating on this scripture. If I were there that day, among the many people who were trying to get Jesus' attention, needing healing? Would Jesus have taken the time for me? I felt uncomfortable even thinking about it. Because, what if he wouldn't have time for me? Secretly, that is what I would suspect... but then it occurred to me... I know myself... I would never have taken the risk to ask. I would have stood back and watched from afar. I would have delighted in other people's healing and enjoyed and believed God from the outskirts. I would have really, really wished that Jesus would have called me out, knowing my problem and just volunteered to heal me... but to try, to push forward, to ask... not unless I was sure, sure, sure... the risk of rejection feels too scary for me. It felt the Holy Spirit pointed that out and I've been pondering it since. This was the instigation of a major realization that I have problems with 'asking.'
My answer to what lures me away includes chores/errands (which somehow NEVER seem to be done!) and relationships. I allow people to be more important than Him, and He is starting to get at the root of why. I was in Theophostics a couple of weeks ago and it came out that part of the reason my relationship with God has been so religious is because that was something I felt I could control. Rules, checklists, etc. But when it comes to a PERSONAL relationship...one where I have to learn to trust both God and my hearing of him, then I get squirmy. Because I can't point to John 4:10 and know that God says "Danielle, don't do "X" today. Just rest instead." I can double check myself by seeing if what I believe God to be saying correlates with the truth of Scripture. But the rest is between Him and me, with the emphasis on Him and His desire and ability to communicate.
ReplyDeleteAs for 2. I don't think I've had a lot of conversations like this, either, but this one seemed fairly easy to take apart for me. Having taken the "SHAPE" class at church, I feel like I have a belief that God creates us personally, individually with different tastes, passions, and personalities. I think that is why one person could have a strong heartbeat for something that I don't. Only Jesus had capacity to do it all, and even HE took breaks, rested, made hard choices.
I appreciate your sharing D2.
ReplyDeleteAMEN, Coreen, about the "maybe that's why it's on your list" thing. I haven't had discussions like that either, but I'll remember your plausible response in case it happens in the future. wise words.
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time merely finishing a task. If I've got one thing going, I've got 8. So paring that down to one, ie. God, is a struggle in itself. I just need to take hold of the reins of my attention and command my mind in what it should do.
I dislike the SHAPE class, but I can put my finger on exactly why. Maybe it's that I don't believe it's the end-all, since people can (and should) shape-shift throughout life as God heals their mechanisms and grows them. For my first question, I said worries and trying to take up the slack in income.
I thought about you 90 days girls yesterday, because someone had a fresh realization and move of God on their heart for a particular ministry. They linked me and a couple of other women into that ministry, and I realized as I was reading that I don't feel the same zeal. Lol. Didn't realize I was actually going to have opportunity to PRACTICE what I'm learning. Sheesh! I just wanna read about it!
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